Cats do not provide milk, or wool, or meat.

Mel and I just got back from the baby doctor and he said that Mel and the baby are just fine. This is good news. She will not have to go on bed rest and can resume her normal activities, such as power lifting and skydiving. He also said that out baby is rather large. Mel and I both have large heads which could account for much of ***********'s mass at this point. Speaking of baby's, below you will see several pictures of the brave young men who are growing baby boy beards to show their support of Melissa's baby birthing mission:

Father D-Bo
Uncle Justin
Dirty Uncle Charles

Gymnast Shaun
Deejles Plays Guitar
Peer Kev-o
The Ton Face
Livermore Nate

Virb

In the past week or so I have put together a Virb page to post some of the ridiculous songs that I (and many friends) have recorded over the past several years. In the first installment of songs you will find:
Bauer: A song that I recorded right after Mel and I got Bauer. Cleverly titled, the highlight of this song is the fact that I didn't actually write the words. I just recorded the guitar tracks and then made up the lyrics as I went. It's pure genius.
Katie's Dance Party: A delightful little jingle that I recorded a couple years ago with the vocal and musical talents of Josh Perry, Jake Foster, Sarah Burns, Charles Meng, and Melissa Bowen. We recorded the song for Katie and Alyssa's birthday.
Adios Chad: Shortly after the Arizona Mission Trip this summer, Jason Hicks accidentally ran over Chad Clelland's leg while Chad was washing a car in the church parking lot. Tony and I decided to write a song to document this tragic event. To this day I believe that Hicks is unaware of this song's existence. For the record it was Tony's idea.
I will continue to add new songs and will let you know when they are posted. Let me know if you have any requests. Also, the songs are downloadable. Fill your iPod with these soulful sounds.

Rule 1: Never Bend the Bill

Yesterday was a magnificent day. Charles and I went to the mall so that he could get me the post-birthday present that he had been promising. A little bit of back story now: A couple months ago I was at my grandparents, visiting with my family, and eating spaghetti. I noticed something spectacular on the head of my semi-ghetto cousin, Cameron. There it was, a Giants hat in all its multi-colored glory, adorned with an embossed spectrum of baseball splendor, paying homage to the city of San Fran. I tried it on and every follicle on my head sang its praises. I had to get that hat. Upon returning home, I went on a desperate search for the A's version. Alas, I found it in the mall. I couldn't really justify the purchase as it was a bit more pricey than your average hat (but worth every penny). Melissa argued that the hat was a bit too ghetto for me. After I finished crying I told her that it is not the clothing and accessories that make a man ghetto, it's his heart. After she finished crying, we went on our trip to San Luis. We walked around the local shops and, upon entering a surf shop, we made a startling discovery: Lo and behold, a kind young surfer gentlemen working at the establishment was wearing the Dodgers version of the hat. After I finished weeping, I told Melissa that since this handsome young prince had such a glorious hat, I too deserved one. I showed the hat to Charles and he agreed that I must have the hat. Though this may seem shallow, rest assured, it is not. However, I have no argument to support why it is not shallow. You just have to trust me. In other news, I purchased one of the Africa necklaces to support Andy and Brittlee's adoption of an Ethiopian baby. I got the initials of our yet-to-be-born son on the back of it. I would highly recommend purchasing one. They are handmade my Brittlee's mom and each one is quite cool looking. Thanks Britt and Andy! Click here for more information about their adoption process and to find out more about the necklaces.

Quite the Weekend, or, (Fatherhood almost came 8 weeks early)

As I previously stated, we had our leader's retreat at the Pine's Ranch this weekend. We left the Bay Area around 6:30 on Friday and arrived at the ranch around 8:30. The ride was pretty uneventful and quite pleasant until we arrived at their quaint little house. That is when things changed. Mel went to the bathroom when we got there (this fact, trough slightly intrusive, is integral to the story's plot). After she left the "facility" she thought that her water may have broken. This was the source of much calamity that would ensue throughout the duration of the evening. She told me what happened and I told her that she needed to go tell Becky (a girl around our age who happened to be a postpartum nurse at John Muir). Becky made a few phone calls to various nurses and doctors at John Muir who all highly recommended that we go to a hospital immediately. So that is what we did. We hopped back in to the car (about 10 minutes after arriving) and headed to John Muir. Ann and Becky came with us as well. We arrived at John Muir around 11 and they admitted Mel right away. Needless to say, a lot was going through my mind. Luckily Mel was really calm and was not in any pain. The baby is not due for another 8 weeks and neither of us were excited about having a baby the size of a Ken doll. My words, not hers. The nurse ran a series of tests on Melissa and determined that her water probably did not break. They monitored the baby's heartbeat and Mel's contractions and discovered that she was having small contractions every 5 minutes. The nurse gave her a drug to stop the contractions and informed us that we would be staying at the hospital another few hours. Becky decided that she would go work some overtime so she "scrubbed in" and Mark picked Ann up. We got home around 4 a.m. Mel was not put on bed rest, but was told to "take it easy." I ended up driving back to the ranch at 10am the next morning. It was hard leaving Mel but she was fine with it. She ended up staying the night at her parents' house. The retreat went really well. Tony took over some of my responsibilities when I was gone and we all had some good discussions when I got there. Rob and I took our cars 4-wheeling all over the property with some of the guys on Saturday. It was grand. It was a really strange weekend and I got a brief glimpse of what it might be like when the baby is born. I am excited and anxious for his arrival but I think I will need these next 8 weeks to prepare.

a man down

Matt Gin shaved. He was weak. We didn't need him anyway. Truth be told, as the days go by, I am beginning to question my beard growing resilience. We will see what happens. Today we are heading to the Pine's ranch for a middle school and high school ministry leader's retreat. The Pine's (a family from the church) own a 10,000 acre ranch (not a misprint) near Cache Creek. It is insane. 60 square miles of squirrel hunting bliss. It should be fun for the 30 of us in attendance. All of this gnarly beard growing has me reminiscing of a simpler time. Here is a video clip from Egypt, depicting the night that Charlie and I shaved.

Baby Boy Beards, Vol. 2

I would like to congratulate Shawn LeBlanc as I am now aware that he has decided to join in this ridiculous facial hair quest. I was not privy to his support for the cause until he sent me this lovely picture. Other newly discovered supporters include Kevin Ludt, Matt Ginn, and Nate Howden. That brings the grand total to 7 noble gentlemen. It is weird to think that the baby is due in less than 2 months. Even as I type that it has yet to sink in. Mel and I have had some good talks as this has been an interesting time of processing and adjustment for us both. A good and needed time. In other news, after an insane Monday night softball game, a group of us went to see 3:10 to Yuma. I am a big Western fan and this movie is right up there with my favorites. The game was a different story. We were up 13-0 in the 4th and went on to lose 17-13. It was insane. On a personal/arrogant note...the fans from the other team (including Bert) were encouraging the pitcher to strike me out. I stepped out of the batters box and proclaimed that my hit would be dedicated to all of the fans, especially Roberta, and my unborn son. I then hit a triple off the right field fence. It was me vs. Bert and I won. This may be reflected in my rent.

Dan's Playlist of the Day:
"Well With Soul" - Ruth
"The City We Live In" - Jonezetta
"Too Young" - The Secret Handshake
"Big Casino" - Jimmy Eat World
"Thrash Unreal" - Against Me!
"An Epiphany" - The Send
"Sowers Season (Yeah)" - Brand New
"Wolves at Night" - Manchester Orchestra
"23" - Jimmy Eat World

Cuzo + T - D/Madonna (not the singer)/Baby Belly

On Friday, Joshua and Christopher (the self-acclaimed "Cuzo) and Tyler Moxley (+T) had a birthday hoedown out at the ranch. It was festive. wally Moxley cooked up some of his famous tri-tip, the Cuzo boiled crawdads and I went and played some softball to preserve my sanity. Sadly we lost our game 17-2 (in 5 innings). We played some Wii and hung out. It was grand. The next morning Mel and I headed for the luxurious, eclectic, and just-plain-freaky, Madonna Inn, in San Luis. To say that this place was gaudy would be a drastic understatement. We stayed in the "Chestnut Foal" room (each room has a specific theme and decor). Each wall was adorned with some sort of freaky equestrian homage on top of a bright lime green palette. Sleeping was difficult. In all actuality, the place was a lot of fun and is a must see for all grandparents. We hung out in Pismo and downtown San Luis for a while. It was a fun little road trip. The Melly Belly has grown considerably as of late. The baby is due in less than 9 weeks, and try as they may, no one has guessed the name. Last night we went to dinner at the Conde house. Amy and Mandie cooked and it was quite magnifico (don't know why I said that). We chatted with video-chatted with Pati online, which was equal parts fun and nerdy. Tonight my coed softball team has a game at 7:45 at the sports park in Pleasanton for the VBC coed league. We are undefeated. In fact, we may even be able to beat my Friday night men's team. Be there!

My parent's puppy, Bella.

Baby Boy Beards

The last day that I shaved was September 1st. This seemingly useless piece of information will be especially noteworthy in 8 or 9 weeks when *********** is born because that will be the next time that I shave. As Melissa's belly continues to grow, so too will my facial hair. Joining me in this noble quest is the Ton-Face, Charles, and Deej. There may be more of us, but as of now, these are the only Triple B's I know of. I am sure my son will look back on these bearded pictures with fondness and will likely weep with joy when my inch-long whiskers brush his dapper little face. I can see it now. In other baby-related news, Mel is doing quite well. She is having a bit of back pain and some leg cramps but her consistent drinking seems to be helping matters. Water, folks! Come on. She is ready to give birth, though the baby seems to have other plans. The name guesses continue to pour in, and sadly, no one has hit the mark. Some of the name suggestions have been close, some have been, well...sad. Cody is a dog's name...Stop suggesting it! Life in the MSM has been pretty good as well. As the 8th graders have moved on, a new batch of squirrelly little 6th graders have taken their place. Thing have been going pretty well aside from the vandals who "decorated" my office. Mel and I got to meet my parents puppy the other day and since they are going on a cruise next week, I have to go by and check on the dog periodically. I also have to take my parents to the airport at 5am tomorrow which will be splendid. Mel and I are going to San Luis this weekend to get out of town before the baby arrives. Should be fun!

What a Relief (Yet another lame play on words)

I got back from the mountains yesterday. It was a stellar weekend of hiking, fishing, and making sure Bauer didn't die. I will start with a few of the Bauer highlights. I enjoy Bauer. He's a good dog for the most part. However, he is capable of some very gross things. When backpacking it is understood that when you use the facilities in the woods (in this case the woods are in fact, the facilities) you bury your treasure deep as to preserve the natural, pristine environment. Upon arriving at our campsite Bauer decided to do a bit of exploring. What he found was nothing short vomitous. There I was, playing my guitar, when Bauer came frollicing toward me. I may not have noticed him, had my dad not made a gagging noise while Tom winced and screamed. There Bauer was, 3 feet of toilet paper hanging from his mouth, turd in his jaws. HE DUG UP SOMEONE'S FECES. I will spare you the rest of the details but it was horrific. Later, Bauer redeemed himself by retrieving fish from the water. After we would release fish, Bauer would swim after them and carry them back to shore. He didn't get that ability from me. It was funny. My dad, Bauer and I slept in the back of his truck. It was cozy. It was nice to get away with my dad and some of the guys before the baby arrives (Melissa was 30 weeks yesterday!). The Cuzo (Josh and Chris) and I were at odds like usual. They are now avid country fans which may be the most annoying/funny thing ever. It fits. They are like broken country jukeboxes, spitting out full-hearted, barely distinguishable country songs non-stop. Amazing. We had a lot of fun though and I am sure this will become some sort of tradition.

The Cuzo minus "D."
Me, my father, and his valiant steed.

73 DAYS LEFT (this title has nothing to do with the entry)

The past 24 hours or so have found me not playing Wii at all. Truly a tragedy, or perhaps you could look at it from a perspective that says "Dan has a life." If only that were true. Instead, I have been editing incessantly, trying to finish up a wedding before I head out of town tomorrow. That's right folks, I am leaving town again. Sort of an impromptu camping trip to Relief Reservoir with my dad, Tom, Josh, Mark and Chris. A father/son expedition minus the younger brothers. Tyler has school and Justin has to work. Bauer is coming as well and is going to sleep in the bed of the truck with my dad and I. Pray. Melissa will be at home playing Wii all weekend. She is a big fan. Below you will find two different video clips.

This clip is from a wedding that I just finished. It features Nickelback on the soundtrack. Enough said.

This is a video of all of the baptisms that happened on the Arizona Outreach and Houseboats this summer. this video will be shown at church this Sunday for Student Sunday (Redundant). The footage was shot in Sedona and Lake Oroville. I accidentally put Matt Pine's name on there twice. The last guy is actually Mike Laine. Sorry Mike!

What a Wiikend

On Sunday, Melissa and my parents had a festive birthday barbecue for. It was just like Justin's jubilant celebration except we ate chicken. It was a lot of fun. My parents got a new puppy, Bella, which was a highlight of the day. Cute dog, tries hard. I am 25 now which sounds very adult-like. I remember my 12th birthday distinctly as it was the first one where I didn't get any toys. It was an odd transition. Not that I was ungrateful, I just felt like a kid still and wanted to play with GI Joes. However, after 12 long years, I got a toy again. My parents got me a Nintendo Wii. It is awesome. I feel like a nerd saying that, but it is. Next came that awkward rite of passage known as the birthday song. I have often struggled to understand why we sing this song. Not my family and friends in particular, but people in general. They did it when I was in Argentina too. I never really know what to do while people are singing. Pletcher suggested singing along, which helped a bit. It was fun hanging out with all my friends. Thank you to everyone that came or gave me a call/email/text that day. I felt loved. Yesterday we had our first annual Labor Day Baseball Classic. A group of guys went to central Park and played baseball. It was a lot of fun, even though I am pretty mediocre. My team lost the game, but won in the style/fun department, which in the end is all that really mattered to me. After the game we went back and played the Wii. The Ton came out and the Conley's were over as well. It was a grand time. I am still sore from Wii boxing. Pathetic.

Justin in Bella's kennel.
Me, probably about to pop out.